Friendships at one point in life were easy, right? In high school, I had no shortage of friendships, college, too. Then, I got married, had a couple kids and all the sudden building deep relationships became hard. All of the sudden, it mattered if they had kids, if our spouses got along, if we had similar world-views. If all of that lined up, then we were too exhausted or too busy to get together. Does this sound familiar to you?
Are your relationships with your spouse or kids at a stalemate. You aren’t growing deeper because you don’t even know where to begin. Can I tell you what you aren’t doing to build deep relationships? I can say this, because I’ve been guilty of this myself and I am trying to learn and build healthier relationships, too.
HOW TO BUILD DEEPER RELATIONSHIPS:
- It matters who you choose. I’ve learned this the hard way. You absolutely cannot be in a relationship with someone who is only concerned about themselves. They never ask about you. If they don’t know your goals in life, what your struggling with or what you love to do, they don’t care about you. You are living life in their bubble. And, as long as you meet their needs, you can be their “friend.” A friendship must be a two-way street. You both must be interested and invested in the other person and their struggles, joys & happinesses.
- It matters what kind of a friend you are. Are you interested in the other person? Do you help them if you can? Do you care? Do you reach out by text/phone/social media first? Do you encourage them? Are you honest & open? Do you make time for them? Do you make them a priority? Do you make them (most of the time!) happy that they spent time with you?
In all relationships, it is so important (I can’t emphasize enough!) that you discover that other person. How you do that is simply by showing interest in them and asking questions. My husband always says the key to being a great conversationalist is asking questions. It’s also the key to being a fabulous friend and being able to build a deep relationship.
What struggles do you find are detrimental to building deep relationships? I would love to hear from you, please share them in the comments below.
Here is a great resource for you, if you want to build deep relationships with your spouse, child, parent, co-worker, neighbor or friend. It works with everyone. If you want to go deeper, you’ve got to discover who they really are.
Sign up to get access to this great printable resource.
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