Your family and your love must be cultivated like a garden. Time, effort, and imagination must be summoned constantly to keep any relationship flourishing and growing.
— Jim Rohn
|No, we aren’t usually this dressed up at Starbucks!
This pic was taken after a wedding, then a parade in freezing cold weather…note the red noses!! 🙂
Asking questions, my husband always says, is the secret to making conversation. (If you know him…you know, he has a “gift” conversing! 🙂 And, if you want a great marriage, you know you are going to have to be GREAT at conversation. You’ve gotta share it all! Ups, downs, rights, wrongs. This is where I have a hard time, I am a “bottle it up” kind of person.
We had a disagreement and found that the root of this disagreement was this…I was “asking” something I really wanted to happen. He thought I was “asking”, so he would give his opinion. I wasn’t really “asking” but I just wanted my request to come out nice. See?? Then, I got resentful that he was so disagreeable and didn’t do what I suggested. hmmm….
Out of that disagreement, we realized, “Hey, we don’t really have a platform to bring these kind of things up that are bothering us, until it gets so bad, one of us just blows.”
We have an hour, every Wednesday night without our kids. So now, we take that free hour and go to the closest Starbucks and sit down and ask each other questions (listed below) EVERY WEEK. It has been incredible. We finally have a platform when we can bring up issues, compliments, concerns, sins and desires. (And not bringing these things up in the middle of a fight… is quite a bit more productive!)
QUESTIONS FOR A STRONGER MARRIAGE:
p.s. Do NOT attempt this at home or with children present. Go out in public (it will help you keep your cool, when you get into some touchy subjects.) You are going to have to be totally HONEST, totally LOVING & totally KIND.
QUESTION 1: What have I done that has communicated love, in your love language, this week?
(If you don’t know what love language you and your spouse are…read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman)
QUESTION 2: Is there there a way that I could show you my love in a better way?
QUESTION 3: Have we been regularly kissing and showing affection?
QUESTION 4: When is the last time we have gone on a date night or spent alone time together?
QUESTION 5: How are you doing with sexual temptation this week?
QUESTION 6: What is God dealing with you about in your devotions this week? Or, how are you doing with your daily devotions?
QUESTION 7: Are there any issues that you see, that are bothering you or are potentially offensive?
This is a MAJOR “DO” for anyone who is married. If you don’t have a specific time lined up, when do you ever talk about the important things in your life, marriage, family? You marriage is important enough to take TIME for it.
We try NOT to talk about the kids at this time, because we talk about them enough…this is about the marriage. We also do not talk about finances at this time, we save that for bill paying day, when we pay the bills together. (does the FUN ever stop!!?? ha!)
God bless you as you work together to make your marriage not just good….but GREAT!
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