Do you start having heart palpitations every time you think about having the sex talk with your kids? I feel like I have been dreading it since they were infants! Since I didn’t want to look my little innocent sweeties in the eyes during this discussion, I thought we should look for a book. 😉 Thankfully, we found a great set of four books to help us on our journey. Let me tell you about the first one:
Book 1: The Story of Me – for ages 3-5 written by Stan and Brenna Jones
This book is in a picture book format. Don’t let that fool you, though it is a soft way of opening up the topic, it isn’t fluff. The kids will learn a lot.
The first book answers some key questions:
Where do babies come from?
How are babies born?
What are the names of my private parts?
How is the baby fed inside the womb?
How is the baby fed outside the womb?
How are boys and girls different?
How do we share love?
Do I have to share my love with everyone?
The book describes what happens at birth, how the baby comes out through the vagina, the purpose of the umbilical cord and how a mommy feeds her newborn baby.
“He (God) took a little tiny piece of Daddy’s body and a tiny piece of Mommy’s body and made you.“
For our first talk, we settled down on family day in front of the fireplace with all four of us. The kids took turns reading the questions and my husband and I took turns with the answers. The only squeals were from the words body part words.
They do deal with breast-feeding, which my son yelled out, “GROSS!” After recovering from laughter, we explained to him that it is a totally natural way that God made all mothers to care for their children. Giving them examples of dogs with their puppies and horses with their colts seemed to help. I reminded them that there haven’t always been grocery stores and people didn’t always have access to milk for their babies. This was God’s way of ensuring that every baby, no matter if the family was rich or poor, would have milk that a baby needs to thrive.
It talks about showing love through hugs and kisses.
It also addresses that not all hugs and kisses are good. They are free to refuse hugs and kisses from people whom they don’t want to share love with. (I thought this was an especially good point because children who are raised to be obedient and respectful to adults, may assume they have no right to say no to something that makes them feel uncomfortable.)
The book mentions that “Someday when you marry, you won’t have to be private with your wife.” This is a great precursor to a more in-depth discussion of that subject, addressed in the later books.
After we finished reading the book, we talked about learning words for our privates, and that these words are also private. We can always talk about it with our family or ask any questions. But, we don’t talk about our private parts in public.
All in all, it was a great experience. Not nearly as painful as had imagined! My only caution would be to read through the material and see if it is appropriate for your child. My kids are much older than the recommended age, but I think it was just right for our first talk.
I love the fact that it is a slow and easy start. I never wanted to blast my kids with one big “facts of life” lecture that left them feeling confused, embarrassed and unable to bring it up again. I want this to be an ongoing conversation that isn’t awkward, but just another one of the many things that we talk about.
If you are interested in ordering the book(s):
The Story of Me on Amazon
Be encouraged and keep the conversation open!
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